You Don’t Need To Prove Anything To Anyone

Trying to be the best or being particularly superior in some way to the average is an unequivocal sign of insecurity. Although no person needs to prove anything to anyone, there are those who think so and act accordingly.

What leads us to try to prove something and justify ourselves to others is insecurity, especially when there is a great gulf between how we see ourselves and how we want to be seen. Deep down, what exists is a deep desire for others to validate us. Therefore, instead of feeling that we do not need to prove anything to anyone, the opposite feeling invades us.

When this is the case, we constantly compare ourselves with others and even need to prove that we are better than them in some way. But what we get in the end is an empty and falsified satisfaction.

If there is love, you don’t need to prove anything to anyone

The key to all of this is self-love. Many believe that self-love is the same as pride, narcissism, or arrogance. However, in reality the opposite is true. The  more self-love  there is, the less will be the need to brag about being the best and  despise others

Having self-esteem means feeling worthy of appreciation, respect and value, above any circumstance. This means that the feeling of worth does not depend on something external and not even on personal achievements, but on ourselves.

Self-love is essential and not circumstantial. Hence, when there is that feeling of value for what one is, you never need to prove anything to anyone. There is no such competitive urge, nor the desire to awaken feelings of admiration or fear in others. The person feels valuable as he is, just for the fact of being and existing.

To be and to prove to be, two different realities

Demonstrating something that you are not, or that you are only partially, involves a huge expenditure of emotional energy. The constant in those cases is internal tension. From there to stress there is only one step. It’s nerve-wracking having to build and sustain a kind of mask and then rely on the impact it makes on others to validate ourselves.

What is intended with this type of behavior is to prove something. That something could be that we are a certain class of people (sociable, intelligent, etc.). We may also try to show that we actually experience certain feelings or thoughts (compassion, patriotism, love, etc.).

Of course, there are also  cases in which you seek to show that you are not something or you do not feel something. For example, when we want to prove that we are not afraid and for this we carry out reckless actions. Or when we want to show that we are not ignorant and we try to make it seem like it to others.

All this is a consequence of the non-acceptance of oneself. Certain personal aspects are rejected for neurotic reasons. This means that the reasons that cause such rejection do not have to do with healthy reasoning, but with an illusory desire to “be other” to satisfy social and family mandates, etc. So although one never needs to prove anything to anyone, in those cases the opposite logic operates.

A matter of illusions

What is at the bottom of a person that is in function of demonstrating that he is something, that he feels something or that he can something is an illusion. He unconsciously holds the illusory idea that by proving it, he will end up gaining the approval of others. And, in turn, such approval will help you to achieve the feeling of personal worth that you so much need.

In practice, what happens is the opposite. The lack of authenticity becomes an obstacle both to learn to accept yourself, and to be accepted.  After all, masks always end up being discovered or disappearing.

Now, no person needs to prove anything to anyone. If there is such a desire it is because there is something inside that is cracked, broken or injured. The greatest test of confidence and personal strength is being yourself. The inordinate need for approval only leads to a vicious cycle in which we feel less and less free and valuable.