Where Do We Get The Strength To Keep Going?

Where do we get the strength to keep going in difficult times? Is it for the support of our loved ones? Or is there perhaps some kind of hidden energy in the brain capable of acting as a catapult in the midst of adversity? For some it is a matter of faith, for others that word that is so fashionable in recent times: psychological resilience.

Sigmund Freud commented that the secret of our strength is in our desires. It is this last competition, that of clarifying what we want and expect from life, that often attacks us to keep moving forward. Later Viktor Frankl would substitute the term “desire” for “purpose”, for that vital goal capable of setting us in motion … even in the most complicated situations.

However, let’s face it, it is not always easy to find resolutions when all we feel is discouragement. We have all gone through that time when our forces escaped our hands and our minds. It does not matter the support of ours or our own determination to find the illusion in life again. There are moments when it is impossible to be strong and even less to use strength in the middle of a crisis.

Whipping ourselves right now doesn’t help us. Falling is permissible. Not finding strength when we need it most is understandable. Let us see, therefore, how we can overcome. Because beyond what we can think, in us there is an innate ability to face complex situations.

Where do we get the strength to keep going?

The neurologist, psychoanalyst and ethologist Boris Cyrulnik points out that people weave ourselves with the ends of the wool of the biological, the affective and the psychological. The times of pain also shape who we are because, as he well points out, the human being is also made of scars and, despite this, he survives and achieves full happiness.

This is how he explains it, for example, in his book The ugly ducklings, resilience: an unhappy childhood does not determine life . In this wonderful work, he presents the case of Barbara, a girl who, after surviving the drama of World War II, transformed her bruising into poetry and became a writer.

Where did this girl get the strength to overcome everything she has seen and experienced? Where do people get the strength to keep going? Let’s analyze some strategies.

Plastic shield

Maurice Vanderpol, former president of the Boston Psychoanalytic Institute, is one of the psychologists who has studied the effects of the Holocaust the most on survivors. He was interested in understanding what was special about those people, like little Barbara, who came out of the concentration camps with a strong mentality.

He introduced an interesting term: the plastic shield. It is a psychological mechanism that acts almost like a door of protection, a barrier where the most terrible thing never penetrates the mind. These survivors created a kind of imaginary mental haven into which to slip away. Once in that place, they remembered what they loved, they remembered their loved ones, as well as the happy moments they experienced.

On the other hand, that plastic shield was also made up of other characteristics: a sense of humor, a critical perspective, and a sense of hope. Exceptional ingredients to allow us to rise from the ashes.

One step back to gain perspective

Your strength to keep going does not appear overnight. There is no switch one can flip to automatically raise the spirits and awaken the courage. It takes time and also, psychological distance. Now, what does this consist of and what is it for?

Let’s think about it. Things are not resolved in the same state of suffering and complexity that we are in. Sometimes you have to turn down the volume of anguish, look at things coldly, take a step back and then see with perspective.

It is in those moments when an internal voice wakes up that can tell us things like «it will be useless to keep crying. With tears you unburden yourself but you are not going to make that person come back, that that which left come back again. Assume it and move on, it is time »

When you find a reason, you don’t lack the strength to move on

 Danish psychologist KB Madsen is an expert in human motivation. In his works, he emphasizes the importance of differentiating the two types of motivations. On the one hand, there would be the magnetic motivations: they are those that drive us to survive, to satisfy our basic needs such as hunger, sleep, thirst …

On the other hand, there are social motives. They are those in which our goals in life are integrated, our affiliation needs, the values ​​that move us and make us remember what we want in our existence. Thus, one of the most basic impulses when it comes to finding the strength to move forward is undoubtedly in these two types of reasons.

In moments of darkness, it is not only clear to us that we remain part of this world that we yearn to survive. In the mind the whys and the why should be clarified . To move forward to take care of my family, to get up to fulfill my professional goals, my dreams and desires for personal development. Put one foot in front of the other to feel free and trace the path of my yearnings in security, in happiness.

As Antoine de Saint-Exupéry once said, “the whole world turns away when it sees a person passing by who knows where he is going.” That must be our attitude. Remember what we want to walk towards it.