The Dangers Of Cyber Relationships

Many couples are formed today through the Internet. In many cases, lasting and healthy relationships arise, but there are also countless cases that fall for the deception of the network. The dangers of cyber relationships are the order of the day.

We all know that there are a large number of people who lie through the network. Behind a screen there is a tendency to show off, to show only the good and to hide the flaws as much as possible.

However, when we see a person face to face, we are seeing both their strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, if we like someone and there is an affinity, an illusion will be created that will have the intensity proportional to the defects that we see.

The fewer defects we see, the more illusion and the more infatuation there will be. The more defects we see, the more the intensity of the feelings will diminish, even if we still like the person.

What happens when the relationship is not face to face?

When we are contacting someone through a screen, we do not see something very important such as non-verbal language. The way of looking, speaking, laughing and a general presence is quite important. Although it is clear that nobody falls in love only with a physicist, there has to be some attraction, it has to have something that moves us inside.

It is good to know someone internally on the Internet, but we have to be aware that this is only one part that has to be complemented with another more important, which is to meet in person. Only when the two facets (cyber and real) come together can we say that we really like someone.

We have all seen around or on a television program, people who say they are in love with someone they do not know in person. That is not real, those feelings are figments of the imagination. That fantasy is fed by pleasant texts that we receive through a screen. As there is no reality that we can see, the mind invents it, idealizing the other and creating the prototype that we long for.

There are also countless disappointments, that the photos that someone showed did not resemble the real image, and the sensitivity and understanding that it gave off in writing, they did not perceive in person.

For this reason, the most advisable thing is not to perpetuate cyber contacts, because the sooner we see reality and deal with the person face to face, the sooner we will have our feet on the ground.

Most common social risks

For its part, there are a variety of social risks when entering a cyber relationship. Among them:

1. That the person on the other side of the monitor is not who he says he is or does not live as he says he lives. The reality is that the same thing can happen to you offline. To avoid misleading lies, try to contact you as soon as possible via webcam, for example, to verify that the photos that appear on the site correspond to the person with whom you are talking (or that they are current).
2. That your interlocutor does not live as he proclaims, that he is not single when he says he is, among others. Nobody guarantees that a person tells the truth, not on a dating site or in a bar. Ask everything you need to know to be calm; If the other person is annoyed by your curiosity, it may not be as transparent as you want for your life.
3. That you meet an online stalker. Some sites have a mechanism that allows you to block the user who you feel is bothering you. Likewise, if you see that there is any inappropriate behavior on the part of another person, you can report it to the site’s security team, which will take the corresponding precautions.

Why are emotions stronger online?

Many claim to have had much stronger feelings with someone on the Internet than in reality. This is because face-to-face relationships have reality covered, since the eyes see what there is and there is no room for imagination as great as there is in purely virtual cases.

On the other hand, when the eyes have not seen reality, the mind begins to imagine and create an idealized figure of what it would like to find, of the ideal person for one. All of this is activated unconsciously. Thus, little by little, an illusion is entered that increases until it reaches a strong intensity that can damage more than necessary.

I have known cases that have suffered with cyber relationships. Once they have understood what the mind does when it does not have enough real information, they have managed to put their feet on the ground and stop those kinds of false feelings.

Talking to someone online without having seen them in person is like entering a fantasy world. The people most vulnerable to falling into the dangers of cyber relationships will be those who have a tendency to be dreamy and are dissatisfied with their real life.

3. Look for closeness

Do not start contacts with someone who lives in another country. I have known cases of people who have fallen in love with someone they cannot see because they live in another country. They have spent years with cybernetic contact, suffering for a love that cannot be because each one has their life and work in their country and they cannot move. They get hooked on an imaginary platonic love affair.

4. Do not be fooled or misled

You have to forget about married people or with a partner, even if they say that the relationship is about to break down. Many fall into deceptions of this type, they swear that although they have a partner, they are not doing well and are about to separate. But what they are trying to convince is to be able to be unfaithful. With so many people to meet, why take a chance with someone who brings complications right away?

5. Be careful

Keep in mind that you never know who you may be talking to. We can all be kind, affectionate, attentive and almost perfect through a screen, but behind a screen can be hidden someone who has a psychological disorder that cannot in real life relate well with others or who invents an unreal life to suit them .

The dangers of cyber relationships increase when real life is not satisfactory, since what has not been achieved in reality is sought. You have to be careful because, just as there are honest people who are worth it on the Internet, there is also the opposite side, sick and deceptive.

What does the research say? 

In an investigation carried out by Rodríguez and Rodríguez (2016),  approach the Anglo-Saxon concept “stalking”, which means observing, for example, the social networks of the other in order to deepen the person. However, it does not stop there, but “stalking” has a touch of espionage, that is, it is about “exhaustively reviewing the wall, photos, posts and comments made and received. “

The authors affirm that “we find that social networks increase the need of those who are in love to have a broader knowledge of the other’s world, of their friends, of their ex-partners, of their past, of their present ” . This can lead to a significant problem in cyber relationships, since by not sharing personal experiences, one member of the couple (or both) can become obsessed with what appears on the other’s social networks.

The only reality that exists for them on the web, therefore, what they see is their world. If one of the two sees something that bothers him, that he does not like, by not being face to face, mistrust can begin. And hence something as dangerous as control. Therefore, we must be careful with long-distance relationships. In the same way that we can be surprised by the strong bond established, we can also fall into an obsession with control that gets out of hand.

Images courtesy of Alexander Kuznetsov and JenavieveMarie