The 3 Pitfalls In Communication
In “The Little Prince”, the beautiful work of Antoine de Saint Exupery, the protagonist said that ” Language is a source of misunderstanding. ” He was referring to the difficulty that human beings have to put into words what we really feel or think.
We suppose that we are clear enough, every time we have to put into words what we really feel or think, that we say something. But in reality, expressing ourselves can be much more difficult than we think. Sometimes we just decide to suggest, believing that others will understand the rest. It may also happen that those who listen to us understand in their own way what we are saying to them, even if we express ourselves clearly.
Communication is much more than just words. In reality, it is a terrain where misunderstandings or misunderstandings are easy. Here are some of those situations in which we cheat when communicating.
Silence as a substitute for screaming
It is a mechanism that is used when anger or resentment appears. Rather than saying clearly what it was that bothered us, we opted for a grave and harsh silence. If they ask us “What’s wrong with you?”, We answer “Nothing” with the greatest calm, even if it is evident that this is not the case.
This type of communication is not very effective. We use it when we suppose that the other person must realize for himself that he did something that offended us. Maybe she forgot to tell us something, or she didn’t understand that we needed her to be more caring, or she missed something that was important to us.
The truth is that staying silent never leads to understanding. Dialogue is the only valid option to face this type of situation. Say clearly and calmly what it is that we dislike. Only in this way can healthy and mature communication be established with others.
The subtleties
Sometimes we choose to throw in “hints” or “niceties” rather than directly saying something. It is a form of communication that does not contribute anything to the relationship with others. If we have something to say, then let’s say it once and for all. And if it’s not important enough, then let’s just leave it at that, and everyone’s so happy.
But that saying without saying, and shutting up without shutting up, the only thing that achieves is to create a heavy atmosphere and allow others to interpret the words in many ways. It easily falls into confusion and a disagreement or conflict continues, which could well be resolved if we decided to speak out.
Thousands of rodeos
It happens when instead of getting to the point, we lose ourselves around the bush and end up without saying the central content of what we want to express. An example of this occurs when, for example, someone is angry at their partner because they took too much notice of another person during dinner. She does not express her annoyance to you directly for fear of being labeled “jealous” or “possessive.” He then expresses his anger by criticizing his partner’s physical appearance, disorder, or whatever trifles he has on hand.
In this, as in the other cases, not saying things clearly leads to errors in the perception of the other and is basically useless.
An important component of being adults is precisely knowing how to say what we feel and think, on time and to whom it corresponds. Not otherwise we will be able to establish healthy and mature relationships with others.
Image courtesy of loungerie
