Not Everyone Who Leaves Returns, Nor Whoever Arrives Remains

I have learned that in this life nothing remains: we are all brief passengers in a world that sometimes takes what we love most. I have also learned to leave and let go, not to cling to what hurts, and to make affection and authentic love my priority.

We have all learned that life sometimes hurts. And it is painful because it forces us to experience changes that we did not expect, to break ties, to lose people and taste the taste of sadness in all its nuances, and also to understand that sometimes being strong implies knowing our weaknesses.

The love that is authentic is the one that truly endures and enriches us. We talk about that sincere affection between parents and children, between siblings, and why not, the love we feel for someone who, despite not being our partner, we keep in the depths of our memory as a pleasant memory.

Positive emotions are the ones that build us up, the ones that build us inside and give us strength, encouragement and shelter. To love is to live, it is to expand and it is to learn. However, the wheel of life never stops, and whoever leaves may never return. And the one who arrives, may not remain. It is necessary to learn to overcome the losses in each of its expressions.

What you loved always remains

Throughout our life cycle we should aim to always move forward with the light backpack of resentments, hatreds and frustrations, and store only positive emotions: pleasant memories, lived experience, illusions, humility and love in each of its forms.

Any loss, be that as it may, involves having to experience and face a grief. We may have lost a loved one, or our emotional relationship may have ended. Whatever the origin, at the end of this inner healing process, it is convenient that positive emotions always remain in us.

Love as a key to inner healing

Let’s take an example; someone suddenly comes into our life, changes it, makes us feel the authenticity of love, passion and the most heartfelt complicity. However, that love does not last. For whatever reasons, it’s over.

• Most likely, after the breakdown of that bond, what we feel first is anger, then sadness, grief and it is possible that this accumulation of feelings leads to frustration.

• Any negative emotion will cause very profound changes in our character and personal balance. It will make us more suspicious and insecure. And you may come to think that it is better not to love in order not to suffer.

Understand, that if you close the door to your heart for something that did not remain, somehow you are refusing to live. The resentment will make us slaves of the past and will prevent us from advancing in our present.

The key to all this lies in knowing how to face the loss, accept it and keep everything we have experienced, with everything we have experienced. Stay with the heartfelt love and the good times, stay with that good chapter and allow the wounds to heal as they should to allow you to be happy again.

What is lost remains in our hearts

We are clear that throughout our grieving process, it is necessary to preserve the good moments. Make love lived that warm wind that should wrap us in moments of cold and desolation. Now, it is worth remembering that everything we lose physically continues to dwell in our hearts.

It is not easy to come to accept a loss, that whoever was once with us has gone forever, that whoever has returned now wants to leave again. Life is also facing goodbyes, and not all, unfortunately , can be done in a train station with a penultimate hug.

• It is necessary to assume the non-permanence of things and learn to value the moment, the here and now as fully as possible.

• Whoever is no longer by your side, undoubtedly gave you a great gift with his company, with his love, with those steps walked together, with so many shared moments. All of this is a legacy to keep in your memory and in your heart with a placid smile.

Your heart and your memory have an unsuspected limit to store in it large amounts of lived affection and experienced love. It is the treasure of life, the one we must cultivate every day, the one that will accompany us when the one we love the most is no longer by our side.

Images courtesy Anna Dittman, Frank Ezh