No One Heals Himself By Hurting Others

No injured person is healed by projecting their pain onto others, much less onto the people they love. However, it is possible that we have found ourselves in that situation despite not wanting it or, at first, not realizing it.

It is very sad to feel bad about yourself, but it is even more sad to become aware that, as if it were a defense mechanism, we are protecting ourselves by using a perverse instrument: tensing relationships with others. Project against them the frustration and pain that we carry inside because we intuit that, no matter what we go through, they will forgive us.

Think, do you not regret having removed someone from your life because of an emotional block from which you saw no way out? Or, isn’t it true that you have ever been hurt so badly that you have closed yourself off from people who perhaps deserved a chance?

The heart is one of the most valuable organs and, understanding it as the representation of our emotional center, the soul companion that we have to take care of the most. That is why it is not healthy for the heart to close since, if it does, in addition to entering the cold we can only offer cold: if we are suffering it is beneficial to understand that, if it does not occur, it hurts those around us.

The healing process occurs in oneself

When we explode to the outside in one way or another, we are not caused by what is outside, but by what arises from an injury that is inside. Imagine that we fall, make a wound and leave it uncovered or cleaned, what happens?

First . Second, it could also happen that someone passed by us and brushed against us unintentionally. In that case it would hurt us and we would react negatively towards whoever has touched us; However, the problem is not the person who touches us, but that we have not healed our wound at the right time.

The heart needs the acceptance of the situation that bothers it and most of the healing process lies in understanding what ways out allow it to overcome what makes it suffer: stopping to reflect on that situation that we want to leave behind is an individual act that requires a lot of effort and sacrifice on our part. If you do not put your will into it, it may seem that the situation has passed but in reality it will continue to be there and it will not let us walk.

Nobody wants to see us like this, why pay for it with others?

On the other hand, as we have been commenting, beyond oneself there is that other part with which we sometimes pay for personal suffering. Theoretically, it would be great for everyone if each one would bear this idea in mind: if those who are with me do it because they love me and are happy seeing me well, or if they try to amend what bothers me at their expense.

Taking advantage of the birthday of the beloved writer of  The  Little Prince, we pick up a premise that he left embodied in his work: although the most primary reaction of any animal, including humans, is to found a defense barracks after being injured by another, it is not all people want to hurt us and are not to blame for what happens to us.

Avoiding establishing new relationships or blocking with walls the most intimate access to those who were closest, for example, we will not be able to heal ourselves nor completely avoid repeating what has bothered us. It is also not useful to oppose their help if they do it from the heart or hide the problem to believe that it has ceased to exist: ask yourself, could this be happening to you?

Pamper yourself! We deserve it

If your answer to the inner question is indecisive or affirmative,: only by taking care of yourself, giving yourself another chance, listening to you, valuing yourself and loving yourself, will you be able to lead a happy life in harmony with others.

We deserve to learn to say “no” when necessary. We must teach the heart to make mistakes, to hit rock bottom and to come out on top because that is what emotional balance consists of: regulating the good and the bad of the experiences that come to us. Try changing the rule of the title: if we take care of others, we will take care of ourselves; but

Hurting because someone hurt us is bad behavior that doesn’t solve anything. Remember that a heart that does not know what to do with its pain and attacks instead of healing, only ends up doing more damage.