Love Comes And Goes But True Friendship Remains
What happens when the couple supplants friendship relations? What do we really lose when we put our friends aside for a relationship? Knowing how to find time for both, friendship and love, is an important point for the relationship to be fruitful.
When you start a relationship it is normal that you have less time to spend with friends. Plans with a partner are sometimes more attractive, the result of falling in love; they are more eager to meet the other and enjoy these first moments. It is a novel situation that requires more attention, but it should not be an option to completely abandon the group of friends.
A group of researchers led by Robin Dunbar studied and revealed that when a love relationship begins, two of the five closest friends are lost. In addition to this, he also affirmed that couples who know how to enjoy the time they spend with their friends and also have their individual plot, present greater satisfaction in their love relationship.
This is so because they learn to divide their time to continue maintaining what makes them happy and generates well-being. In this way, they transfer their emotional state to the relationship and somehow strengthen it.
Love comes and goes, but true friendship is something that transcends time. Therefore, we must find moments to continue sharing experiences with our friends, whatever the situation. According to the studies of Robin Dunbar, choosing to share and not dedicate 100% of our time to the couple will improve the sentimental situation. Which does not mean that we ignore it, simply that we look for those moments to do and be with the people we also love and appreciate.
Leave everything for love
This phrase is very typical and seems very romantic, but whoever leaves everything for love, abandons himself to enter a “being together” that does not imply the union of two total and complete people, but a symbiosis. In this way, part of the individuality is lost to form a collective: two incomplete beings united to cover deficiencies.
But love is not this, love is respecting that the couple has their time, their friends, in short, their life and that they choose us to share it, but not to make a life totally together. Trust and communication allow couples to enjoy their individual parcel, independent of the romantic relationship, without negative consequences.
“I leave everything for love” is a selfish decision, which also implies that if at some point the relationship ends, what will remain will be nothing, which entails a very difficult breakup. Continuing to dedicate time to our hobbies, having our space and maintaining friendships provides a full life, which we decide to share with someone. Let’s not forget it.
Friendship takes time too
Maintaining friendships requires understanding but also time, as does building a relationship. A time that, although it may not be as constant as before, when it does have to be sincere, of quality and dedicated with love. You have to enjoy it.
Thus, friendship is also love and you have to work on it, pay attention to it and take care of it like a garden. It is in our hands. It is our decision. Let us allow and encourage that these beautiful ties are not broken just because a relationship began.
It is hard to think that after a friend has abandoned us for love, they will come back after a while to make up for lost time or the friendship that existed. It costs because nobody likes to be abandoned, although there is always time to learn that love comes and goes, but friendship will always remain there. As long as it is authentic.
