Intrusive Thoughts And Anxiety: How To Deal With Them?

“I should know what to do, but right now I am unable to react.” “Every time I say something to him for good, he misinterprets it and there is no way to fix it.” “There is no way out of my problem, it is impossible …”   They are intrusive thoughts. Who has not had them on some occasion?

They are phrases, ideas and even images that appear in the lock of our mind almost without realizing it. They are persistent and cause us great discomfort. They hurt, and they expose us almost without compassion. They tell us about how vulnerable we are, about our failures. Of our weaknesses.

We create them ourselves, but sometimes you have the feeling that an alien and malevolent hand weaves them exclusively for us, just to torture us. It does not matter whether these thoughts have a real basis or not, little by little, they turn into a dangerous obsession that fills us with more and more negative emotions. Making us fall into a very dangerous loop.

From a temporary state of anxiety we can easily lead to obsessive compulsive disorder. So … How to deal with these kinds of thoughts?

1. Thinking a lot exhausts

We must first understand this idea well. Thinking is not bad, quite the opposite. The risk begins when we turn to the same things, getting negative emotions to feed even more. These thoughts that come to us over and over are called ruminant thoughts.

An example. You have made a mistake in something, you have inadvertently offended a person you appreciate. It doesn’t get out of your head and you keep thinking about it day after day, moment after moment. What good is something like that to you? The ideal is to talk to that person, you have to face the problem and turn the page.

2. Beware of denials

A high risk in which we tend to fall with these intrusive thoughts, is in almost always using the word “no”. “I can’t, I won’t be able to overcome this, they will never forgive me, I won’t be able to get it …”. These kinds of thoughts are not constructive. They are fully and absolutely destructive. In addition, they are not only negative, but we come to believe them, hence much of their danger.

Far from providing us with a solution and relaxing, it makes us fall into an abyss with no way out. How about doing a reverse exercise? What if we build somewhat more creative thoughts capable of giving us some satisfaction? Creativity is important and in the same way that we use “no” for a thought, we can use more real concepts. For example, instead of saying “I’m always bad”, we can substitute “sometimes I’m bad, but I also have my good moments”.

The fact of replacing intrusive negative thoughts with more realistic ones is part of what is known as Cognitive Restructuring (CR). For Bados and García (2010) “ CR consists of the client, with the initial help of the therapist, identifying and questioning their maladaptive thoughts, so that they are replaced by more appropriate ones and thus reducing or eliminating emotional disturbance and / or or behavioral caused by the former ”. 

3. How can I free myself from intrusive thoughts?

If you perceive that you are having too many intrusive thoughts, stand up. Take air. Stop that vicious cycle and realize that this is not doing you any good.

Stop identifying with those ideas and walk away. You need solutions, not more problems. And those thoughts only build walls around you.

Breathe Now look at all these ideas as if you were an outside observer. What benefit does it bring you to think about those same aspects over and over again? It is like a harmful boomerang that tirelessly returns with more violence towards you.

Take it in your hand and stop it. It is time to find new strategies to solve those problems, those negative thoughts. Understand that the past no longer exists, that it is no more. Understand that what matters is the here and now. That dimension in which you deserve to live in peace and balance.

Mindfulness is an ideal technique to be able to focus attention on a single stimulus (for example, breathing) and stop paying attention to what causes us discomfort. In this way we reduce the negative emotions that negative thoughts cause us and we become less reactive.

Accept mistakes, assume what happened and plant new illusions in your present. In a short time, new projects will germinate where your horizon will be clear. Where you can breathe again proud of yourself. It’s worth it.

Image Courtesy: A. Steibeck