Increase Self-esteem: Five Easy Ways

It is always a good time to increase self-esteem. At the end of the day, in the journey through our life cycle we are more than obliged to continue strengthening our self , to build a strong, secure and focused identity and self-worth with which we can relate much better with others (and above all) with ourselves.

The psychiatrist Luis Rojas Marcos explains to us in his book Self-esteem (living better)  that this dimension is that feeling of pleasure and appreciation or unpleasantness and rejection that accompanies us every day. It is almost like a dress that will make it easier for us to move more or less comfortably, which will mediate almost any activity and process that we develop in our daily lives.

We can choose to wear a heavy diving suit with which to sink progressively into unhappiness. We can also remove layers, armor, fears and indecisions to shape a healthy, safe and more competent vision. Because at the end of the day nothing can be more devastating than to stop loving and respecting us.

Let us appreciate every fragment of our being to enjoy a better quality of life. Let’s see how.

1. Increase self-esteem by recalling successes

Often times, people have an almost obsessive tendency to focus only on the negative aspects. We do it when our mood is low and then we give more importance to failures, mistakes and disappointments.

It is always better to remember positive comments for your achievements or your work performance. Likewise, it is highly healthy that we learn to treat each other with respect, and this implies “thinking better”, in order to generate positive evaluations of the person.

Thus, studies such as the one carried out by Kristin Neff, from the University of Texas at Austin, show us something important. If we are able to treat ourselves with greater kindness and self-compassion, we could increase self-esteem in healthier ways.

2. Don’t compare yourself to others

Each person has their own qualities and, of course, you are no exception. Do not worry about those attributes that you want to have and that you admire in others. Focus on yours and above all, on your human potential. Great virtues are inscribed inside you, and that person who is reflected in your mirror every day could not be more perfect.

To increase self-esteem, value aspects such as health, your personality, the people who love you, those mental faculties make you an intelligent person. Remember the good opportunities that your work offers you, what you contribute to others. There are probably many who would envy all that you have today and that perhaps you do not value enough.

3. Find the root of your lack of self-esteem

Perhaps your low self-esteem is due to having a complex childhood, in which you felt that everyone was praising the other children, while no one paid attention to your achievements. Did the nickname you were known by at school make you feel inferior to others? Were you too tall or too short in relation to other children your age?

It is necessary to find the bottom of our negative feelings. Most of us have some aspect of our personality that we don’t like. But that does not mean that you should focus solely on it, because that will only make you feel bad.

Instead, try to analyze how those thoughts relate to the way you feel now. Analyzing those thoughts in their proper measure will help you increase your self-esteem.

4. Give yourself the courage you deserve

Self-esteem is related to the way you perceive yourself. Observe yourself in front of a mirror and list the qualities that you perceive. If you cannot detect positive characteristics in yourself, you would have an indication that your self-esteem is probably on the ground.

Sometimes it helps to write down the flaws you find in yourself. By reading them one by one you can analyze if it really is a defect, an error, or something to change. You may discover that, curiously, in some cases what you consider negative in yourself is perceived as a virtue by those around you.

In any case, you are the one who has the last word; Only you can tell if an aspect of your personality makes you happy or not. However, when conducting this analysis avoid falling into the extremes of justification or ruthless criticism; both attitudes are equally harmful. Although difficult, try to be objective and fair to yourself.

5. Do not anchor yourself in the past, take impulse from it

If you have something that makes you ashamed of your past, let it go, in life we ​​all make mistakes. If you have already thought about it and the affected party has forgiven you, do not insist on torturing your self-esteem by thinking that you are a failed person. If you insist on putting your finger on it, you will do nothing but underestimate yourself.

The past is nothing more than that rear-view mirror to look at from time to time to better guide us towards the present and the future. To increase self-esteem, our gaze must focus on what really matters: the here and now.

To conclude, let’s never forget that this psychological dimension is like that muscle that you exercise every day. If at some point we perceive that it is very difficult for us to put it into operation and the discomfort is then excessive, do not hesitate to consult a specialized professional.

This can help us detect our lack of self-esteem, make it aware and work on it. Sometimes, it is necessary for someone external and impartial to tell us what we can be doing right and wrong in our day to day life and how we can increase our internal well-being. It is very healthy!

We are not machines and it is likely that, throughout our lives, we will have streaks in which we focus more on our weak points and others, in which we believe we are invincible. It is good for someone to bring us back to reality and understand that, in those moments when we are most vulnerable, we need to return to a point of balance.