If You Think It Is Hard To Put An Ending, Try Not To

Sometimes we resist writing an ending to what, literally, “makes our life bitter.” Many of these behaviors, relationships, or thought patterns respond to a need: to avoid immediate discomfort. We avoid confrontation with reality by taking refuge in pain, which is therapeutic because it is habitual.

What happens is that this specific avoidance of pain, without looking beyond it, sometimes leads us to a vital disaster. We prolong relationships with people who humiliate us at a low price or we are prisoners of habits that cannot come close to achieving what we want in the long term. Sometimes we have to change ourselves and sometimes we just have to put an end to it. At other times, both.

put an end

We have to be aware of what are the aspects of our life that are no longer favoring or compensating us, that all they do is that we collect bad times. To decide if we have reached a point of no return in a relationship, the following points of reflection will be very useful:

• What is the frequency in which a person makes you feel bad and makes you feel good? Being immersed in endless justifications and apologies from the other party is not a good sign
• What kinds of habits are immersing you in a routine that is not ideal to achieve what you want in the short term or to face your current bad state?
• What thought patterns plunge you into neuroticism? Thinking about what has no solution, bringing a personal problem to your work, continually thinking about what you should do, etc.
• Spending time that is now only suffering to things and people that do not deserve it, neglecting people who are worth your worth sometimes and your joy almost always.

The price of not putting an end is high: destroying your self-esteem. Sometimes it is inevitable that we will be hurt and disappointed. That is not within your control, but how you react to that damage and the aggressor will make a difference. If you continue giving opportunities or justifying behaviors that no longer have them, you will be undermining your self-esteem. You assume that you have lost control, not only of what they do to you but what you do to yourself over and over again.

It’s hard to put an end to it, but imagine not doing it

They can be toxic habits or relationships from many years, that you have allowed to consume you, that continually boycott your emotional well-being and your dreams. You can continue within that dynamic by seeing yourself unable to live in a way that does not imply that eternal discomfort.

The time has come to be healthy selfishly. Cut your losses with what hurts you and renew the scene of your life … do not allow yourself to continue boycotting your dignity. The price of not putting an end is that one day you will have to do it in an even more traumatic way, with much more damage and having wasted more time.

If we do not put an end to what is constantly wearing us down, our inner peace will never find shelter in hours or days of our life.  Put an end to what should have ended almost shortly after it started. If you try not to do it, an irreversible emotional drain is predicted that neither you nor anyone worthwhile deserves.

It is important to give ourselves enough licenses to be able to start over without fear or guilt. In life everything transforms and changes and it is the way in which we know how to detect these changes that makes the difference between people who are continually renewed and those who end up living eternally in their past dramas.

You can have many stories on your way, however staying in one longer than necessary hinders the healthy decision to travel through different trails. Endeavoring to repeat over and over the same situations that cause you discomfort is not just masochism, it is giving power over you to someone or something that should never have had it.