I Don’t Want Lies That Comfort, I Want The Truth Even If It Hurts
I do not like the lies that comfort, nor the half truths or even less the whole falsehoods. I prefer the truth, even if it hurts. Even if it breaks my soul, because at least I will be free to take the path I want and heal my wounds in time.
As children, it is common for us to be educated to always tell the truth. Now, in the end, there always comes a time when we make a first use of lies: to avoid punishment, to achieve a goal, to adapt to a situation …
It is clear that all of us have made use of these “half truths” on occasion. However, if there is something that we are clear about, it is that there are different degrees of lies and that the nature of many depends on the situation in which we find ourselves. Nothing happens if when they ask us “ how are we ” we respond with “great” . Although it is a lie and we are going through a bad time, we understand that it is a simple formalism without much relevance.
Falsehood acquires its most negative hue, if with it we harm those around us. There are those who use lies because they fear that the truth will cause too much pain or that the consequences will affect them in an unwanted way.
The lie takes prisoners and condemns us to live empty lives, false and lacking in authenticity. All of us, without a doubt, those behaviors hurt us, those attitudes of those who say they love us but put a veil over our eyes while they repeat that everything is fine. That nothing happens …
We invite you to reflect on it.
White lies will never be acceptable
A white lie or a lie that seeks to offer comfort will never be tolerable. None of us have the right to act in such a paternalistic way as to think that the other person is not “valid” or not worthy of knowing the truth.
If you have ever been lied to, what has accumulated inside you is an uncomfortable amalgam of anger, misunderstanding and sadness.
The disappointment caused does not always come from the fact that they have hidden a reality from us, what sometimes despairs is that they have thought that we did not “deserve” to know it.
- White lies actually hide a lack of personal maturity on the part of the person telling them, thereby manifesting a lack of empathy and social skills.
- Maintaining a relationship, a bond, be it family, friendship or partner, implies maintaining essential ethical codes: respect, understanding and emotional integrity with oneself and with the other person.
- The lie disqualifies the person who practices it and humiliates the person who receives it. It is a bond destined to cause suffering and disappointment because, believe it or not, falsehoods, like the morning sun, always end up looming.
There are those who say that it is impossible to practice that “uncompromising sincerity” that nothing shuts up and reveals everything. We would be talking about that type of ” sincericide ” that equates personal opinions to absolute truths. Thus, it manifests them without any type of filter and regardless of the damage they may cause.
It is about something simpler: that my truth sets you free, that my sincerity allows you to grow in the direction you want, because in our relationship there is no room for lies or silences that hide realities.
The truth hurts once, the lie whenever you remember it
They say that the truth hurts, that the lie kills and that the doubt despairs. They are all drives, human emotions that we have experienced firsthand. No one is immune to them.
We deserve to establish sincere relationships based on respect and recognition. While it is true that we also have the right to our personal spaces, our secrets or intimacies, the lie will never go hand in hand with a conscious and mature relationship.
What are we lying for?
At this point, it is very possible that you wonder why we use it. These are the main explanations:
- To avoid a result that we do not want (a negative reaction from our environment when telling a truth, causing pain, being alone …)
- To adapt to an environment that we consider threatening or complex (let’s think, for example, of our adolescents and their need to lie in some aspect to join a group)
- To achieve a goal (lie on the resume to get a job, lie to a potential partner to win her over …)
We have experienced all these behaviors on occasion, in the first or second person. However, the most important thing in all this lies not only in telling the truth, but also in knowing how to receive it:
- There are people who prefer to live in ignorance. The maxims of: not knowing so as not to suffer, not seeing so as not to cry …
- Who prefers to live in a lie is because they are afraid to accept the truth and do not know how to manage a difficult situation. In these cases, “turning a deaf ear” stands as a defense mechanism with which to avoid facing the problem.
Keep in mind that sincerity is the most important value if you want to undertake a life project with another person. Therefore, always demand the truth because it will be the only way to build that relationship with firmness and integrity.
Images courtesy of Amy Judd
