How To Manage Emotions In The Face Of A Chronic Illness

Although having good emotional intelligence is essential for well-being, our society does not give this issue as prominent a role as perhaps it should. Generally we move through life lacking these essential resources, but there are certain situations in which this lack becomes more noticeable. For example, knowing how to manage emotions when faced with a chronic illness can make a big difference in our quality of life.

To the physical impact we must add the need to make a psychological adjustment to the situation that is presented to us. A far from easy task for which many chronically ill patients do not receive the required understanding and counseling.

The arrival of a chronic illness

Chronic disease is defined as a long-term medical condition that progresses slowly. The examples are very varied: from cancer, diabetes or arthritis to fibromyalgia or migraine. They all have a common element: they are diseases for which there is no cure.

The process begins long before the diagnosis, with the appearance of the first symptoms that are disconcerting and begin to arouse our concern. However, when after countless tests and medical visits we manage to name what happens to us, the outlook becomes grim.

We can all remember the discomfort and feeling of helplessness that a simple flu causes us. We feel weak, sore, and limited in our daily tasks.

However, we know that this is a temporary situation and that we will soon be able to regain our health. Imagine the impact of knowing that this unpleasant and painful situation you are facing will accompany you for the rest of your life.

The emotions that arise in the person are intense and changeable. And yet, in most cases the only help that is received is pharmacological. Nobody prepares or accompanies you in the harsh psychological process that is triggered.

From that moment you will have to face emotions of fear, anguish, sadness and anger. You will feel worthless because of your inability to work, you will begin to perceive yourself as a burden for your loved ones and the feeling of failure and limitation will take hold of you. And above all, you will experience a great sense of loneliness and misunderstanding.

How to manage emotions in the face of a chronic disease?

Each case will have different particularities due to the individual’s own idiosyncrasy and the characteristics of their disease. Faced with this, there are certain tasks or strategies that can be a valuable help to manage emotions in the face of a chronic disease:

• Validate your emotions. Remember at all times that you have the right to feel what you feel. Do not impose the demand on yourself to be strong, to smile or to be happy. Don’t judge yourself for feeling sad, angry, or afraid. Everything you feel is valid. And if you need time to assimilate your situation, give it to yourself.

• Perform adequate emotional ventilation. If you repress your emotions, hide them or lock them up, they will end up “rotting” inside you. Express yourself and let out everything that worries you, hurts you or distresses you. To do this write, talk to your closest people or seek professional help. But make sure you have a safe space where you can open indoor windows and allow air in.
• Take care of your internal dialogue. Frequently, faced with a chronic illness, the person begins to send harmful messages such as: “you are a burden”, “you are a failure, you are useless, you are no longer good for anything”. This devaluation leads to a severe drop in self-esteem that only worsens the situation. Be compassionate and forgiving of yourself. Don’t be your worst judge or your biggest critic, speak to yourself with love, understanding and empowerment.

Beyond survival

Above all, enjoy your life. Yes, this can be contradictory since it is evident that the disease is a severe limitation. However, you still have a life and you deserve to live it. Try not to feel sorry for yourself for a long time; on the contrary, live, enjoy and be grateful for everything you do have.

When the disease allows it, go out, share with your loved ones, do activities that you like. Even if you have to learn to enjoy in a different way than you did before, do not stop doing it.