Happiness Is Also Learned. These Are The Keys!
” Happiness is realizing that nothing is too important .”
Antonio Gala
In the name of happiness, many lies and so many half-truths are told, which are even worse because their disguise is more convincing.
The popular imagination suggests that it is a kind of “Nirvana” to which we must not lose hope of accessing. Something like a state of fullness and constant bliss.
Additionally, each era and each society establishes an inventory of the characteristics or conditions that we must meet to enter that splendid earthly paradise. Currently, the idea of happiness is founded on three pillars: power, wealth and beauty.
Paradoxically, the idea of Nirvana and its three pillars has resulted in more people frustrated than happy. Power, like wealth and beauty, does not seem to have the effects of fulfillment that some attribute to it.
Quite the opposite. If it were by itself the only and essential source of happiness, we would not see how addictions grow among rich and powerful people, nor would we have news of wealthy people who star in dramas in real life.
What is happiness then? How can we achieve it?
A study carried out at Harvard University by Professor Tal Ben-Shahar, an expert in positive psychology, indicates that the feeling of joy can be learned!
The means for acquiring this learning are the same as for accessing any other skill: technical and practical.
The six keys to happiness, according to Tal Ben-Shahar, are the following:
1. Learn to celebrate failures
People who are capable of positively evaluating their failures, manage to be happier. It hurts to believe ourselves infallible or to assume that we have no right to make mistakes. But, in addition to this, it is an idealistic position and at the same time tyrannical with ourselves.
Isn’t the mistake the daily bread? Isn’t science itself, which is a model of thoroughness and perfection, plagued with errors throughout history?
Thinking that we should not, or cannot, make mistakes is a baseless idea that only causes anxiety and depression.
2. Be thankful for what you have
You may believe that your health, your family or your work are realities that will be there forever and that is why you do not give them a relevant value in your life. You take for granted that they are part of your assets and you forget that in a breath you can lose any of them.
It is very true that daily we forget to be grateful for all those daily miracles that seem “normal” to us. Unfortunately, many times we realize their immense value only when they are gone and we realize how much they mattered.
3. Endorphins
They are the hormones of happiness. They are right there in our brain and we have them available all the time, but we don’t know how to use them. A 30-minute walk a day helps you release enough doses of endorphins. A ten second hug will also give you at least three full minutes of endorphins and happiness.
The matter is simple: if you get used to doing practices that promote the release of endorphins, you will surely feel more joy in life.
4. Simplify life
You only live once, it’s true. But that doesn’t mean you should try to experience it all at once. One of the contemporary diseases is that of wanting to do many things at the same time and, hopefully, all with great speed. Neither your physical health nor your mental health can endure such a desperate lifestyle for long.
Learn to organize yourself. Give each activity its time and value. Eliminate all those tasks that steal valuable moments from your life. Chances are you won’t starve if you work less. On the other hand, taking time from yourself and the people you love the most can have a very high price.
5. Meditation
You don’t have to become a Tibetan Lama. It is enough that you take a few moments of the day to balance yourself, by exercising a simple meditation practice.
Meditation has proven to be a great support for achieving inner peace. It also affects a better functioning of cognitive, creative and will skills.
6. Cultivate resilience
Yes, resilience can be cultivated. It is not an innate ability, it is developed. It is defined as the ability to face adverse situations and emerge from them strengthened. It is much easier said in words than put into action.
To be resilient you have to put a lot of effort into it. You must focus on finding the flower in the mud: the teaching in the middle of the difficulty. It is a path to wisdom and happiness, understood in realistic terms: as a relative inner peace and a frequent ability to find the best there is in the world in which we live.
Image courtesy of José Ramírez
