Do Not Try To Get Out Of Your Head What Does Not Come From The Heart
They say that wanting to forget is to remember forever and they are absolutely right. Trying to get rid of our feelings is an adventure that can end in tragedy. An emotional suicide, a true madness …
The truth is that trying to forget a thought is not the same as a feeling or an emotion. The first thing we can achieve, it is enough to get used to thinking about other things, imagining or saying “STOP or STOP” when something comes to our mind.
However, trying to suppress our emotions and what they entail is denying ourselves reality and not assuming the learnings that arise. In other words, trying to inhibit or get rid of what we feel at all costs encourages everything we want to avoid.
Wanting to forget is deceiving yourself
Many times to want to forget is to unconsciously feed the fixation for that person, to try not to renounce what they did or make us feel their presence or memory. However, what we are trying to forget is not a person, but a sensation.
Each emotion and each memory makes us pay attention to our deepest self, the one we renounce and avoid attending on a day-to-day basis. That is why it is so difficult to understand it, because many times our conscience and our words are unable to understand what overflows the soul.
These situations require a very intense inner work that surely makes us uncomfortable. We have to be aware that we are likely to have mixed feelings, that we can get angry with ourselves and with the world, that we feel anger, jealousy and all kinds of emotions that our morality punishes.
This is natural, so we have to try to assume it with total normality. We cannot occupy our mind in avoiding our emotions, because it is something impossible and really dangerous.
What we have to do is learn to handle them, to control our behaviors and to promote our well-being. Working in this direction means not trying to feel good at all costs, but trying to tolerate what our heart feels.
Remember what left a mark on us
The solution is to understand to remember without pain, not to try to avoid pain. The heart is only healed when we manage to keep the good times in our memory.
What hurts is not remembering those moments, but the loss of someone we loved or a feeling that disappeared and we were unable to catch. The essence of the air that we breathed in his presence, the smell of that oxygen that we counted on to infinity a thousand times.
Carrying out the psychological effort to understand that people come and go, we will realize that what is important is what has entered us, because it will always remain.
When we are able to take that step, we are able to feel everything that we have already made ours, that which makes a difference, that brings us back to life and that makes up the before and after.
