Failure As An Opportunity
Can you taste happiness without knowing what failure, suffering, or grief is? Why is failure taboo? Why are we ashamed of having failed? Is being happy synonymous with success?
What is success? What is being happy?
Failure is a word loaded with negativity, from which one runs away, which is hidden, which disguises itself to deceive… and to deceive us. But is it possible to succeed without risking failure? Is it possible to be happy without the spark of risk? Why is fear of what they will say and shame more than the possibility of success?
Let’s put the philosophies aside, because now we have scientific evidence of the importance that failure has on happiness.
A group of researchers from the University of Pennsylvania has determined that the defects of the past help to develop what they call “grit”, which we can translate as grain or sand. According to these researchers, what they call “grit” is the perspective and passion for a goal and the obstacles that must be overcome.
The researchers found that students who had lower IQs but more “grift” or “gritty” finished with higher averages than their peers with higher IQs. Why were the odds in your favor?
“They were willing to take risks, feel uncomfortable, and dealt with the negative emotions that come with setbacks, such as disappointment and shame, constructively to find solutions,” explains Christine Carter, a sociologist at Berkeley Greater Good Science. Center.
And the “arena” is not just limited to academia. Later studies found that the bravest people were more likely to stay married or keep their jobs.
“Being in denial or blaming others misleads you into thinking that the situation does not need to be remedied or is not under their control. Lean on feelings of frustration or sadness, which will help you create a plan, “ says Carter.
The use of that knowledge helps to design a strategy with specific measures such as practicing public speaking skills, asking for feedback with the boss or finding time to have an honest conversation with the partner.
“Happiness is essentially being a master at something (…) .. But to get there you have to test yourself and see failure as part of a larger process that can be learned,” says Carter. And he adds: “Include losing in your plan, and you will find that you will win more often. Something to be happy ”.
Triumph and happiness: brief reflection
“The true test of a champion is not to see if he can succeed, but to see if he can overcome obstacles” (Garth Stein)
Triumph is savored as we overcome all obstacles that stand between us and our goal.
The fear of failure is something that we carry since we were children, when we are ashamed, when we lose in a game simply because someone makes fun of us or an adult does or says to the derogatory, even if it is to downplay it.
Many children even give up playing or playing sports because the prospect of losing scares them away. Or they do not want to learn new and different things from those imposed by the educational system for fear of not being the best (and disappointing others).
Failure is inherent in learning and progressing. If we care so much about our happiness and that of our loved ones, it is time that we stop seeing failure as an end and begin to see it as an opportunity.
