11 Phrases That Do Not Help A Person With Depression

Depression  is a very common disease throughout the world, estimating that it affects around 350 million people. Depression  is different from the usual mood swings and brief emotional responses to problems in everyday life.

It can become  a serious health problem, especially when it is of long duration and mild to severe intensity , which can cause great suffering and alter the normal activities of our daily life such as work, school and family.

In the worst case it can lead to suicide , being the cause of approximately 1 million deaths annually. Therefore, and taking great responsibility, I provide you with the  11 phrases that we should not say to a person suffering from depression :

1. “You’ll feel better tomorrow.”  Depression cannot be overcome overnight. Creating false expectations and even the responsibility to overcome them so easily creates pressure on the person that aggravates symptoms. “Live every day, I’m going to be with you”  could be the right phrase.

2. “Life is not fair.”  Saying this we take weight and importance off the feelings and emotions of the depressed person, not helping them. The most appropriate in the case would be  “I’m very sorry about what is happening to you, but we can and we will get ahead.”

3. “Other people have it much worse than you.”  Being aware that others have problems does not make yours go away. We could provide empathy by saying  “I’m sorry you’re suffering, how can I help you?” .

4. “I know how you feel, I was depressed once. ” Sharing this type of emotional information could downplay the affected person’s feelings and their fighting process. Empathizing and sharing the intention to understand  is the best. 

5. “Go out to party and have fun.”  The  depression  is not just a bad day or is removed partying. But it is true that going out for  “fresh air”  reduces stress and pressure. Proposing a coffee in a calm way could be an alternative.

6. “Why are you depressed if your life is perfect?”  Depression is not linked to a traumatic or sad event. It can just happen without further ado. That is why it  is important to make the person see that we do not underestimate their emotions and we are there if they need us.

7. “You just have to get out of the house.”  As in point 5, leaving home can even be counterproductive when we are depressed. The advisable thing could be to  invite the person to be aware that it is not necessary for them to live the process alone, that they can also share it and be helped.

8. “You are strong, you will be fine.”  Depression leads us to feel helpless and weak to any human being. Making the person see that we believe in them and our support in every step they take is essential .

9. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.” Fighting depression is not synonymous with feeling sorry for ourselves when we find ourselves  “there.”  Giving alternatives and possibilities to help out  is always appreciated.

10. “You’re dragging me with you.”  A person with depression finds himself struggling to help himself. Obviously, if they need to be focused on themselves to overcome very intense negative emotions, it is logical that they do not pay attention to the feelings of others. The question  “What can I do to help you?”  it is one of the best alternatives in these cases.

11. “You are being selfish.”  We remain aware that depression is not an option. If we say such a phrase, our ego is probably speaking  . Let’s leave it parked for a few days and express the true feeling of  “I really miss you, what can I do to help?”

What can we do then?

It is always great to have the more tools the better, and more in cases of such importance and need for improvement like these. Therefore, I will also talk to you in this article about what things to encourage or say if we meet a person with depression:

-State the fact that you are not finding the solution or a way out of that unpleasant situation, does not mean that it does not exist . It just means you haven’t found it yet.

-Encourage him to make him see that his life will not always be the same, both positively and negatively. Life is a continual change. Nothing is forever, neither good nor bad. It is very healthy to think both that in the future everything can be different for the better.

With all of the above, it is always essential to  be responsible and put ourselves in the hands of a suitable professional for these cases . Love and affection is an essential tool throughout the process, highlighting the act of empathizing and also leaving a healthy personal work space for the person with depression.